Colorfool

big dead arm

February 22, 2007

So I get into bed under all 6 of my blankets. I'm snuggled and my spot is nice and warm after a few moments. Keely and daddy go to say goodnight to all the buddha statues around our house, which they do each night. It used to be heater vents and clocks, but now they've moved on to buddhas. Oy. Don't question it. Just roll with it.  Anyway. They come to the bedroom. Keely pounces around on the floor at the foot of the bed talking about something. Ryan leans over me to kiss me goodnight. He puts his hand on the left side of me, on the bed. He jerks his hand back up- then back down on the blankets and feels around. "What's that? What's under there?"  I pat my hand on the big strange long lump. It's not the cat or the dog. "What the ?"  I sit up. I start patting it viciously and he goes off to pet the dog, the DOG, at the end of the bed.  "Hey! Don't you even care that there is something laying next to me in our bed? Aren't you going to rescue me here?"  Grab a bat or some bear spray (because yeah, we've got that), the phone, do something other than shrug your shoulders and go give the dog his goodnight love—while I'm alone with this thing?! 

"Rescue you from what?" he asks with an are you crazy expression on his face.

"From this ….pat, pat, rub the lump…this thing. It could be some, some, I dunno….a big….dead….ARM…or something! And you've gone off and left me here to fend for myself."

"You're upset because I'm not saving you from the wrath of the big dead arm Angela?

"Thaaaat's right.  I could be in grave danger here. GRAVE! man."

"If there was a big dead arm in the bed…I would rescue you, but I know it is not a big dead arm because I put that in the closet yesterday."

"shut-up."

 A few minutes pass. We are all cozy in bed. It's dark and quiet. Then I feel something on my left side. Then it moves up my leg slowly, heavily. My eyes pop open and I know it's fingers and a hand. His  (-not that of the big dead arm's, shockingly).

We both start laughing.

He thinks he is SO friggin' funny. 

*It was just an edge of one of the duvets rolled up strangely and surprisingly, not a big dead arm, just so you know.  

**AND please note the date of this post. It was the day I posted a post with NO photos. Holy cotton- tailed monkey burritos. 

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