Archives – December, 2007
Milo, my love, you are one month old already. How time flies. As I child I remember always hearing "older" people talk about how quickly children grow. So many times I overheard my grandparents talking about things that happened 20 or 40 years ago and them not believing how long ago it was. I thought they were nuts. I must be an "older" person now. Time seemed to move so slow when I was younger. Something happens after you turn 30 and again if you have children. Time speeds up. Not that there aren't days that seem to last forever sometimes, but weeks go by. The calendar pages flip past. Keely was just one and this year she will turn 5! I was just holding your
newborn body yesterday I swear, but no. Now you are a month old. You've gained over a pound and grown a little fuller, a little taller. You're growing and changing already. Your eyes have lightened a bit. Your hair looks red in the sunlight. You are such a pretty baby.
Milo, you are however, loud. Loud. Loud. Loud. Not just when you're crying, but when you are sleeping. You grunt and groan and moan repetitively and for soooo long. It sounds like something surely is wrong with you, but when you wake up, you stop. It's comical I guess, but it doesn't make for peaceful sleeping. You sleep cuddled up to me at night. Your belly against my chest. You pee all over yourself and me. We wake up soaked. I don't mind at all. Strange. A diaper just can't contain you. You love to have your face smooshed when you are tired. It helps you fall asleep. My hand half across your face or your head pressed into my body. You also like getting in the Moby wrap to fall asleep. You love to be warm and cuddled up to me and I love having you on my chest-breathing, sighing. Currently, you are alert for about an hour at a time before sleeping for 1-2 hours. At night, you want to be fed about 4 times. You aren't crying through the night much now…just the grunting.
You have the cutest yawns. Your mouth stretches so long that it hurts you. You make sweet cooing sounds and you follow our voices. You smile quite a bit, especially when Keely talks to you. You make us smile too.
It is so nice getting to know you Milo. I love knowing that when you're being still and alert that within a few minutes you will want to sleep. Soon you will turn your head towards me and nestle your head snug in my neck and fall fast asleep. I love that I know that this cry means you've had too much and want out. And that that cry means you are tired of being moved around. I've learned so much about you in these few weeks. What will the unfolding months reveal about who you will be? How lucky I am that I get to learn all about this new human being. There is such sweetness in this fleeting intimate time. We don't get very many quiet moments together Milo, but I treasure those we do have. I'm trying to take in all your baby goodness while it lasts because you too, will grow up too quickly.
December 31, 2007
Ah, Christmas is over.
I love the holiday season usually. This year was a bit different though with such a young baby and we didn't buy/make gifts for anyone, except Keely.
I'm just impressed that we got a tree and decorated! A few days before Christmas, Keely and I did some junk food making-fudge, peppermint bark, trash, sugar cookies. Well actually we started doing some baking and mid-way through Keely conked out on me. She got tired and starting showing signs of being sick! Boo. By that evening she had a fever and chills and was laying so still on the couch. The next morning she was vomiting and feeling just awful. We had 3 days of family visits lined up and everything went on as scheduled, but she just wasn't into it even when she started feeling better.
She liked all her gifts-it was all about playmobil and new dollhouse stuff this year.
and she tried to be socialable to all the family visitors, but she was kind of miserable. She just has a cold now and I think we are all glad to have things kind of back to normal.
December 30, 2007
Milo is 3 weeks old already. It's Day 2 in my "going it alone" and we are all still alive and have been fed and the house is not a total disaster. We are however going a tad stir crazy. I'm not brave enough to take them both out in public yet alone and it's too dang cold outside for walking around the 'hood. So. Inside we stay. all. day. long. We haven't really got into a groove or schedule yet either. It's just one day at a time right now. Keely is a bit sleepy these days because she now must wake up every time Milo wakes up at night. She thinks she might miss out on something I think. I'm trying to get her to take a nap currently. I think she is actually sleeping now. Shocking.
Poor Milo has reflux, although not as bad as Keely had it and so far he is much "easier" than our princess was. I can actually sit him down some times. He even fell asleep on his own twice!!! Could be flukes.
He does enjoy his rides around in the sling and the Moby too. The Moby is awesome, but it's a pain to put on.
That's Keely's hand trying to put his head back down-already bossing him around, but she sure does love him.
She taped up that message for him over the changing table. Aw. Lucky boy.
December 18, 2007
If you are sick of baby photos this is not the place for you. Taking photos is the only creative thing I've been doing! I am not complaining. I love this baby. We all love having a wee baby in the house. Having a second babe is quite interesting. It is a little emotional-trying to divide myself up and figure out who to do what with and when. Things haven't been too rough yet, since Ryan has been home to hold the babe when Keely needs mommy time or I need to do something that requires two hands. He's also been cooking all the meals and playing with Keely a lot so she hasn't felt slighted. Yet. We'll see how next week goes when I go it on my own. Yikes. I know I have a lot to learn about balancing life with two. However, I already feel I've gained some new mommy wisdom with this second birth. I feel different. Something changed in me. Maybe it's some temporary hormonal thing. I hope it's more permanent though. I am so much less stressed out with Milo than I was with Keely and that is wonderful. I was such a wreck with Keely as an infant and even as a toddler. I think I spent 2 years bug-eyed, panicked, frazzled, and on edge. One great change is that Milo's crying doesn't frazzle me to the core. I know he'll stop eventually. I'll just keep rocking, singing, patting and being there.
I was also incredibly nervous during this whole pregnancy about adding a baby to our lives. I just didn't know how I could do it all again or how I would keep my close connection with Keely. Silly me. I already can't imagine life without our baby Milo. I know how quickly infant time passes and I'm trying to savor all of its goodness-snuggly warm baby body, bitty feet, sweet breath, coo's, googly-eyed looks, and total dependence. I heart babies.
December 13, 2007
Well I was scheduled for an induction on Tuesday the 27th. I was bummed. I wanted it to happen "naturally". I also felt like that wouldn't be his birthday. It'd be more like his eviction day. Over the weekend we decided to try all the natural induction methods we could find. You know the usual physical ones and then a few new to me ones. I ate a whole entire fresh pineapple, then some canned ones and then some dried ones too-covering all the bases. I drank raspberry leaf tea repeatedly. Then, we made induction salad: red cabbage, romaine lettuce, and basalmic vinegar/olive oil dressing. That was Sunday night. I felt fine that evening and went to bed a little frustrated. I had been waking up every night for months having hours of contractions. It had not been fun. Sunday night that didn't happen. I woke up at one and realized I wasn't having contractions. I was glad to have gotten some sleep, but weirded out. Then I woke up at 4 am with a really strong contraction and an odd smooshing water balloon feeling. I jumped out of bed just as my water broke. I mostly made it to the bathroom. I started mopping up the floor and thinking, "Well crap. My water broke and I'm not in labor. This is going to take forever." I woke up Ryan. My contractions started within minutes thankfully, and were every 10 minutes apart while we puttered around the house getting ready to go to the hospital. I woke up Keely. She happily got up and was almost cheerful as she got dressed to go to the hospital at 5:30 am. That was bizarre. She is not a morning person. We got into the hospital and checked into our room. I got into the hospital gown and hooked up to the monitors. Things were moving along. I was dilated at 3/4 cm. Keely was doing well until my contractions starting getting stronger and I was getting louder. She got anxious and bored. "Can we go home now?" "Is the baby here yet?" Ryan decided we wouldn't be able to keep her there with us. He couldn't tend to us both. His mom came and picked Keely up. Keely came over to the side of the bed to kiss me goodbye and I broke down into a sobbing mess. I've never let my baby go away from me except with her daddy. It was so hard for me to loosen my reins. The next contraction came and my tears were stopped with the pain. I was given a bit of Nubain-a narcotic. It lessened the pain slightly, but didn't last long at all- 30 minutes. A little bit later my mom showed up. Ryan and her were holding my hands through the contractions and I started to feel the baby's head moving down. Not long after I knew the baby was coming. I started yelling for help in a deep & desperate voice. "Help meeeeeeeeee now. now. now. The baby. Baby's head noooooooooow!" It was my mantra and it was all that was coming out of my mouth. People started running around. Nurses yelling for the midwife to get there. It felt so chaotic in the room. I couldn't move my body. I was frozen in pain. They had to move me into a birthing position. Things had progressed really fast. The midwife got there. Ryan got one of my legs. Nora the labor nurse got the other. I pushed. The head came mostly out. They were coaching me, but I have no idea what the were saying. I couldn't hear anything. The midwife forcefully pulled on the baby. I pushed again and the contraction stopped before the head was out any more. I didn't stop pushing. Screw the contraction. I kept pushing until there was progress. The baby's head was out. Pushed one more time and his whole body was out. He was flopped on my stomach. He felt so heavy. His warm, wet body was huge! I think my jaw dropped. I went to pick him up and realized he wasn't moving or making a sound. The nurses grabbed him away from me and started working on him. I kept asking if he was alright and no one would answer me. My arms were outstretched to him and I couldn't put them down. I wanted my baby! The placenta was delivered. The midwife did my stitches. I felt out of it and scared and my arms were still reaching for him. I have a lot of gaps in my memory at this point. I think I was in shock. I did eventually hear him crying and I was so relieved.
They finally gave him to me and I studied his little perfect face. So symmetrical and smooth. His skin just perfect. He looked so different from Keely. My love for him was instant. I have a son. Wow.
A bit later Keely was brought back to us and she stood frozen in the middle of the room looking at us. She then quickly walked over and looked at him with disbelief. We all admired him. Everyone left me while Nora and I got myself cleaned up. What an ordeal that was. It was almost comical. It is so weird having a stranger do such private things to you, but I guess after a birth, modesty is lessened. There's blood going everywhere. My body looked freaky. Nora's things kept falling on me every time she made a move. She leaned over and her scissors fell out on my foot. She leaned back down and her glasses fell off. We were just a couple of incompetent chicks in a tiny bathroom. Good times. I was just focusing on not fainting. Then the baby was taken to the nursery for 4 friggin' hours for tests and observations-even though we protested. Keely went for a long walk with grandma. I was taken to a new room. I sat in the dark blue, silent room by myself for what seemed like hours. It was quite depressing. I have 2 babies now and a husband, but I'm sitting here feeling crazy, loopy, wired, and alone. What the ? Eventually, people came back and Ryan got the baby. He was born perfect. Not a flaw on his bitty body, but now there was this large red patch-a burn like blister on his face. No one knew what happened to him in the nursery. Hmmm.
My poor baby! We took turns holding him for the whole stay. He cried. A lot. Ryan and Keely got us some dinner. This vegetarian family would not survive on hospital food. Soggy cooked cucumber salad with limp broccoli? blah. We were back together in our room as a family of four at least. Visitors came and went. Bedtime came. Keely and daddy laid on the fold-out couch. The nurse did not approve of Keely staying there. I said, "If she goes, we all go." That ended that. The baby cried and cried. The nurses came in and out. We got no sleep. The next day Keely and Ryan ran some errands, went home, took care of the animals and played for awhile. Milo and I sat together, paced, and bonded.
His scratched face had gotten worse and he was getting antibiotics now for it. The hospital time dragged on and on. I so wanted us to go home, but we could not. They wouldn't let the baby leave. We had another sleepless night. The nurses didn't even want to keep our screaming baby in the nursery for an hour. We've got another screamer on our hands. All the other newborns were happily sleeping in their plastic boxes, but not ours. He wanted to be held and walked and he still was going to scream. Wednesday morning we packed up and waited the slowest wait for someone to let us leave. Home at last. I love home.
Born Monday, November 26, 2007
at 11:03 am
8 lbs. and & 7 oz.
20 inches long
December 5, 2007
It's so nice to hear everyone liking the name Milo. We were getting mixed reactions from it before he was born. We had a short list of possibilities and we narrowed it down to Quinn or Milo. He just was/is a Milo. Today he is one week old. Time is marching already.
Keely is still doing so well. Ryan is home for 2 weeks and he has been cooking, cleaning, entertaining Keely, and tending to the babe and I. He's awesome. Our night times are in shifts now. We start out all sleeping together…me holding Milo. When he wakes up to eat and scream I carry him to the couch and we snuggle and sleep a bit. Daddy takes the next couch shift. Our house isn't big enough to get his loud yowling away from Keely, but we are trying.We've got to the Miss K get her sleep even if no one else. The living room is the farthest away we can get. Other than that we are doing pretty good. Holding a babe, staying together at home, thinking a little about the holidays. We are going to try to get up some decorations this week. It's good. It is so nice to snuggle with a baby. Baby heads are just the best. Oh and that baby smell! How many kisses does this little boy have to endure each hour? We are all so in love with Prince Milo.
The birth story is in the works. Typing one handed is slow going.
December 3, 2007